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  1. #1
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Gift received at 08-14-2012, 10:22 AM from KremeChoco

    Who is WolfRaven?

    Before I start, I am going to say that this is not a rage thread. This is a rant/self-introductory thread. I was considering placing it in the Forest Of Beginning but decided that this would be a better section. Also, a major reason in why I am making this thread is for @Supermarioz5 , although the reason behind it extends to other people in Leafre, mainly key figures in my Leafre career such as @Deception and @Ouchiess .

    What is this thread?

    Okay, so I have not properly introduced myself to you, at Leafre, and I am not mentally prepared to do so, so this is the equivalent thereof, for now. Yes, I need mental preparation to expose myself, as a person. It is possible to know near where I live, especially with the conversations I have had with certain members in this community, however I have not revealed any personal information about myself other than vague hints. As for gender, I have been careful to keep it hidden, although there are places where I go and... we'll say "lie" for lack of a better word. Mind you, I went both ways, so it is hard to know who/what I am, and that is intentional. I would like to think of this as a formal introductory thread. As for my age, I am relatively young, but still older than the majority of Leafre. I make up for it with experiences. I sound like a generic teenager, but my life and world have had a lot that has gone through them. I will share a few stories in this thread.

    Keep In Mind:
    I would like to say that I am literally on the verge of crying while making this thread, but do not be alarmed, nobody is in trouble and this thread has very little to do with Leafre idiots.

    Code:
    I would also like to say that 
    
    this thread is extremely personal, so 
    
    please refrain from spamming in this thread. 
    
    I will report and request post deletes of 
    
    unnecessary posts.

    Black Rock Shooter and Who I Am

    Okay, so I'll start with the fact that I have just started watching the anime "Black Rock Shooter". Personally, it is very brutal and harsh, but it touched me in more than one way. Not only have I created a fantasy world that I have been trying to write about for some time, but in the first episode I was able to philosophically see my world come together. That sentence will not make sense, so I will explain it in the following spoiler.

    Philosophically seeing a world

    A philosophy is what drives an idea, or so that is my philosophy of the word philosophy.

    I have had a fantasy world I have been trying to create for quite some time. The main problem is that I am not only trying to make it into a concept for a game, I am also trying to make it into the concept for a book. Trying to do both is hard, and they do not synergize very well.

    So, the reason why it philosophically comes together is that I can see how my world is put together and how it works. Before it was just a jumble of ideas on the world that made up the world, now the world can actually store the ideas. That is all I can say.


    So, another reason why this anime has really touched me, and I just realized this on episode 7... is that, to me, a lot of the anime is about personal experiences and emotions. Heck, I even called in the first episode that the peoples' emotions were what fueled their strengths and abilities. Guess what they explained in the 7th episode? Anyways, right at the end of episode 7 I realized that this anime is extremely personal. I will go into details in the following spoiler.

    Personal story

    Alright, right now I have calmed down and am not on the verge of crying anymore. That is very good, as this story is extremely personal. If you have read "The Kite Runner", you will understand a part of what I am feeling.

    Note: Names and genders may be fake in this story. (Names are, for sure.)
    Note2: When I say social relations, I mean purely social. I have had no girl/boyfriends in my life, nor have I ever gone on a date or partied. My brother once held a party at my house and I stayed locked in a room playing on my computer.

    When I was a Freshman in High School, I did not have many friends. It was not that I was not popular, because I knew enough people, I just did not care about social relations and still do not. They bring too much pain and suffering, among other things.

    In my P.E. class, there was this one skinny girl. She would always carry her water bottle around with her so she could drink, even in the middle of running the mile. She also smelled a little bit of curry because she was Indian (or Middle Eastern of some sort). I found a group of people who I had some social relations with in middle school and started to hang out with them. She was a part of that group. Due to her extreme kindness, I got to become her friend and we became good friends. I got to know about her and about who she was.

    This was the person who lives in a low-class family and goes to a middle/upper-class school. (It is not my intention to brag, but my area is "well put", although a lot of people tend to disagree. Although he is not in the same area, Leo is truly just as spoiled as I was/am. Do not ask how I know this.) Her father worked all day at multiple jobs to support a family of 3 and a sick mother. This was the person who lived in an apartment 3 stories up because it is cheaper. This is the kind of person who cooks breakfast, lunch, and sometimes even dinner for the whole family while maintaining good grades. This is the kind of person who carries up a case of six of these every day. Three flights of stairs. This person woke up at 6 AM every day for High School.

    I did not like to buy lunch because I did not like the lunch at my school and because if I did not purchase lunch it was free money. This girl, who was a lot poorer than I was, made herself fresh naan with vegetables inside everyday for lunch, along with her siblings. She started to share it with me and eventually started to make some for me. At first, I gladly accepted it, however after time passed, I started to tire of the flavor and did not savor it as much.

    It was around this time that I screwed up. Over the course of our Freshman year, she was bullied because she smelled and because she filled her water bottle from the water fountains at the school. At first, I defended her and started to bring my own water bottle to help defend her. Sadly, I do not drink enough and could not actually fill up my water bottle as it would last me several days, so I stopped bringing it as it was dead-weight. So, she was bullied and I defended her. She did not care because she had a friend. Our group started to pick on her, and I defended her. It became a "war" with two "alpha-females" duking it out. Me and this other girl, who had corrupted over the course of Middle School. Regardless, I ended up winning and there was little to no tension inside our group, although I did not keep the status of alpha-female as I was not at the right maturity to hold it, at that point in time.

    That last part sounds really weird, but that is the truth to what had happened. It is easiest to explain it like that, as I have thought of it multiple times and in multiple ways.

    Anyways, eventually I stopped defending the girl little by little. It came to the point where I started to tease her and eventually avoid her during Lunch and make fun of her during P.E. She did not get the hint and even kept making me naan.

    Eventually, I just moved to another group and then the year ended. The next year, she moved to another school. I have not heard from her again and I do not have her last name.


    If you have seen Black Rock Shooter, that story is very similar to Yuu's story. It is not the same, but it is similar. It is also very similar to "The Kite Runner". The story sounds fabricated, but that was what happened to me and it breaks my heart to see how stupid I was back then.

    Now, you might be thinking, that story sounds so weird, it's like you're talking from an outside perspective except you were there!
    I can do that because I have inflected a lot. I became existentialist at one point (unintentionally, I did not even know what existentialism was) and then fixed it, because existentialism is very, very depressing if you do not understand it. The sad thing is that this can be related to Black Rock Shooter as the part right before peoples' other selves die, where they are having problems in the world.

    Personal Story 2

    That applies to me because I had tried to go to Winter Formal with this person but I ended up doing something weird, and it got blown out of proportion after that, although I admit it was dumb of me to do what I did. Have fun assuming.

    So, the day of Winter Formal, I go to have a "pre-Winter Formal" party, and then at the house, I realized that I was just the slave of the group. They made fun of me and I could not do anything because of the hole I had dug for myself. On the way back to that house (after dressing for Winter Formal; yes I went home for dinner, dressed up for Winter Formal then walked 3 miles back to the house), I inflected.

    I would like to take a moment to say that I have only truly inflected two times since that incident. The reason being that I go extremely philosophical and become existentialist for a short period of time. I, currently, am mentally prepared to be existentialist, however back then I was young and was not. I had even considered suicide because of existentialism.

    What I realized on that day was that I was worthless to that group of "friends". I was an outsider, and I had nothing. There was no purpose for me being with them, I was tagging along for something I could not get, no matter how hard I tried. I broke on the way to the house, but I maintained my composure and went to Winter Formal. After the dance, I went to a close friends house (we're both Canadians, 'nuff said).

    The day after, I realized what had happened and, at my own house, I cried myself to sleep. This was the first day of Winter Break.


    There are more parts that relate to Black Rock Shooter. Just sayin'.

    We are all supposedly human, after all. Although I may act and sound elitist and superior, I am not. I try to humble myself, but I have let praise lift me off the ground. I had this same problem with...

    Personal story 3/explanation

    my second group (also my final group, the second story was my third group, but I went back to the second group) of friends. There was only one person in that group who I called my friend and I called that person my best friend. Except that it was not mutual. I realize that I was extremely mean to them all and acted like I was perfect, in fact some of them even thought I had had a perfect life other than the fact that I was lazy. The truth is that I was extremely self-conscious and hid all my insecurities by being rough. I was not rough in a physical sense, but in a verbal and mental/psychological sense. I have fixed that problem with those, and can call two of them my friends, but I have no time to meet up with them anymore, considering one lives far away and the other has a weird schedule (says me... derp).


    Fin


    Yes, I am human. That is the whole purpose of this thread, to tell you all that I am still a person. I realized this the other day when I had started trolling constantly all day in ally chat only to get stopped by Andyyy PM'ing me. Although him PM'ing me did not tell me anything new (it was a one-sided conversation where I took all the words out of his mouth before he could type them), it did allow me to stop and slow down. I have not been trolling as hard since, although I still do troll, but it is not easy to stop.

    More Black Rock Shooter

    Black Rock Shooter is very philosophical and deep in that everything you do affects others regardless of how you want it to. Everything that happened in the real world went into the other world in a disproportioned state, similar to how we perceive things as they occur. Our emotions and instincts then make us react in ways allowing us to accept or reject people and to dislike or like people.

    There was also a lot of symbolism in the anime, such as in the other world, how Yomi had a bridesveil but also a maids dress, signaling that she was a loyal to her master and had "married herself" to her "master".

    Also, at the end the colors of the bracelets also reflect how each character feels.

    Blue was the sky, and Mato had that. She represented a freedom in terms of emotions and also personality. She did not confine herself and let herself be free to try to make others happy.

    Red was for anger, and Yomi had red. She got angry at things because she did not understand social relationships and was left behind, in a metaphorical sense.

    Pink was for a sneeze, and Kagari was pink. Although Kagari did not sneeze often, it could be symbolic in the fact that when you sneeze, you typically are releasing pressure and/or built-up pressure. Kagari had a lot of emotions and let them build up which caused her to go crazy. When she finally let go of them, she was an entirely different person.

    Orange was for a sunset, Yuu let everything finish in a nice and happy manner, other than Strength dying due to Yuu and Mato's stubbornness.

    Just some food for thought.


    I can continue, but there is so much that can be said that I will just stop for now. I have burnt my fuse and an just sitting here sniveling. Everything I have stated in this thread is true and serious. This is who I am, this is partly why I act the way I do. And, Mario, you are A reason why I am watching Black Rock Shooter, but not THE reason why.
    Last edited by WolfRaven; 03-25-2012 at 01:25 PM.
    His tongue was growing hair and his throat was raw, but his cock was as hard as an iron bar.
    ރ" -WolfRaven
    I did it for the cards.
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  2. #2
    Kyoushi




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Gift received at 12-14-2013, 03:58 AM from KremeChocoCelebrate!
Gift received at 08-14-2012, 10:22 AM from KremeChoco
    I'm, a key figure? <3

  3. #3
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Gift received at 08-14-2012, 10:22 AM from KremeChoco
    Quote Originally Posted by Deception View Post
    I'm, a key figure? <3
    When I say key figures, I mean people whom I respect. Raul could be included, but this thread does not particularly pertain to him.

    Respect is something that is earned and also lost. I could go into detail, but there is no way I could say more without hurting some peoples' feelings.
    His tongue was growing hair and his throat was raw, but his cock was as hard as an iron bar.
    ރ" -WolfRaven
    I did it for the cards.
    Please Visit My Blog

  4. #4
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    Read 1st story so far will edit or post after I read the rest.

    Current thoughts:

    I knew it! Wolfs a chick.
    When you mentioned kite runner and "About to cry" I thought you meant the rape scene with amir. =X but, yeah stuff like that happens to all of us, I guess its a human trait. I did it in middle school, Can't remember doing it in high school at all. (wait nvm, I did but thats a different story and another thread to be made). Also, Why all of a sudden make this?

    @WolfRaven

    edit:
    And, Mario, you are A reason why I am watching Black Rock Shooter, but not THE reason why.
    Thats a lie, I'm the reason mang.

    Anyways on a serious note, Well,damn don't really know what to respond to this. I mean, I have been in groups (actually i'm cool with everyone so I have no real defined group) and in the "Groups" we tend to make fun of each other nothing 100% serious. Mostly jokes, but from what you are writing you either took it personal or it was personal. All I can say is keep your head up, and next time try not to dodge your true friends, even if they make you seem uncool/Get made fun of.
    Last edited by Supermarioz5; 03-25-2012 at 08:30 PM.

  5. #5
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Gift received at 08-14-2012, 10:22 AM from KremeChoco
    Quote Originally Posted by Supermarioz5 View Post
    When you mentioned kite runner and "About to cry" I thought you meant the rape scene with amir.
    OH, I watched the T.V. version, I have the OVA streamed and ready to watch, but I haven't gotten to it yet. (Yes, I started and finished it last night/this morning.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Supermarioz5 View Post
    edit:

    Thats a lie, I'm the reason mang.
    Totally, yo. You are THE reason. Exactly why I made
    this

    about 2 years ago?

    Quote Originally Posted by Supermarioz5 View Post
    Anyways on a serious note, Well,damn don't really know what to respond to this. I mean, I have been in groups (actually i'm cool with everyone so I have no real defined group) and in the "Groups" we tend to make fun of each other nothing 100% serious. Mostly jokes, but from what you are writing you either took it personal or it was personal. All I can say is keep your head up, and next time try not to dodge your true friends, even if they make you seem uncool/Get made fun of.
    Annnd I'm whoring this thread.

    You misunderstand me, though. My group had one very large problem. Everyone was socially awkward and inadequate in some form or way. I made fun of them and joked around, but they took it too seriously, among other things. Also, like I said, I do not have any true friends.

    By true friend, I mean someone who I can rely on in a time of need. If I was in trouble and needed to camp out at a friends house to get away from my parents or something, my friends would all turn their backs. That is what I mean when I say I do not have any friends, which I say often.

    Yeah, my life sucks, but as Minah stated, I twist words around a lot. This is entire thread is semi-biased as it makes me look pitiful.
    His tongue was growing hair and his throat was raw, but his cock was as hard as an iron bar.
    ރ" -WolfRaven
    I did it for the cards.
    Please Visit My Blog

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by WolfRaven View Post
    OH, I watched the T.V. version, I have the OVA streamed and ready to watch, but I haven't gotten to it yet. (Yes, I started and finished it last night/this morning.)



    Totally, yo. You are THE reason. Exactly why I made
    this

    about 2 years ago?



    Annnd I'm whoring this thread.

    You misunderstand me, though. My group had one very large problem. Everyone was socially awkward and inadequate in some form or way. I made fun of them and joked around, but they took it too seriously, among other things. Also, like I said, I do not have any true friends.

    By true friend, I mean someone who I can rely on in a time of need. If I was in trouble and needed to camp out at a friends house to get away from my parents or something, my friends would all turn their backs. That is what I mean when I say I do not have any friends, which I say often.

    Yeah, my life sucks, but as Minah stated, I twist words around a lot. This is entire thread is semi-biased as it makes me look pitiful.
    oh, disregard what I said then. Well, you'll eventually find people who are dependable. I honestly, don't think any of my current friends are "good" friends.

  7. #7
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Gift received at 08-14-2012, 10:22 AM from KremeChoco
    Quote Originally Posted by Supermarioz5 View Post
    oh, disregard what I said then. Well, you'll eventually find people who are dependable. I honestly, don't think any of my current friends are "good" friends.
    That's why this anime is really deep.

    T.V. Version
    At least the TV version. Kagari was Yomi's only friend, and Yomi took care of her, but Kagari corrupted herself. Once Kagari was freed from the corruption, she was new to life in general, and took a negative aspect on life until she met other people. She learned how to be positive, but still did not know about human interactions and thus "broke off" her friendship with Yomi.

    This caused Yomi to get hurt because Yomi lost her only friend and was forced to be friends with Yuu and Mato, who were very close. It was basically like waking up everyday to see what your ideal world would be in front of you everyday. Sure, you could say Yomi was being stupid, but if you only had one friend who became popular and then left you, I think you would get mentally fucked over as well.


    True friendship is hard to come by and hard to keep, especially because of how connected our world is. Ironic how it has become easier to get close to people, yet we distance ourselves.
    His tongue was growing hair and his throat was raw, but his cock was as hard as an iron bar.
    ރ" -WolfRaven
    I did it for the cards.
    Please Visit My Blog

  8. #8
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Gift received at 08-14-2012, 10:22 AM from KremeChoco
    Love how, I, who pq and talk to you and harrass you all the time, is not a key figure. Meh w/e TLDR cuz I don't have time, will read it later, all I read was the first 3 paragraphs right before

    Black Rock Shooter and Who I am.
    Please use @SnipedByYou or Quote me when trying to get my attention! I may forget about my post/thread so please just mention or quote me to make it easier!

  9. #9
    Kyoushi




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Gift received at 12-14-2013, 03:58 AM from KremeChocoCelebrate!
Gift received at 08-14-2012, 10:22 AM from KremeChoco
    Quote Originally Posted by SnipedByYou View Post
    Love how, I, who pq and talk to you and harrass you all the time, is not a key figure. Meh w/e TLDR cuz I don't have time, will read it later, all I read was the first 3 paragraphs right before

    Black Rock Shooter and Who I am.
    When I say key figures, I mean people whom I respect.

    You harassing him could probably be why you're not on there :3

  10. #10
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Gift received at 08-14-2012, 10:22 AM from KremeChoco
    Quote Originally Posted by Deception View Post
    When I say key figures, I mean people whom I respect.

    You harassing him could probably be why you're not on there :3
    You didn't say key figures.
    SHE did
    Please use @SnipedByYou or Quote me when trying to get my attention! I may forget about my post/thread so please just mention or quote me to make it easier!

 

 
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